I've been really slacking on the original intent of this blog, to pick a word and riff on it. On Friday, I picked the word toposphere. Jeez. I'm not really sure what to say about that. It's about the earth's atmosphere, which honestly, I haven't really given much thought. Maybe I should. Maybe we should all think more about what's intangible--invisible things and ideas-- like breathing, air and smoke or love, shelter and friendship (equally as invisible).



This Place Has Atmosphere or Taking Notice of the Invisible

Breathing/ Love
Does this ever happen to any of you? Right before you go to sleep, you become so aware of your own breathing that you can't fall asleep? You stay up counting your breaths and feeling air moving in and out of your chest. This also happens to me a lot when I'm sleeping with another person. I become super aware of my breaths in and their breaths out and the rhythm it creates. Sometimes the rhythm is perfect and makes you feel whole and other times it's a little off and both of you are trying to keep up with each other, or you're both really self-concious about it and make efforts to not breath in and out at the same time because it unites you in a way you're not comfortable with. Then it feels like there's no separation between the two of you at all.

Air/Shelter
There was a blackout just on our side of the street that lasted about four hours. B and I are so used to our central air, we almost take it for granted (but not quite). No other apartment of mine has had central air and it's still a luxury to me. As soon as everything buzzed off last night, B and I hoofed on over to Thai Village and scarfed down some Noodle Kee Mow and Thai Iced Teas. We came back to the apartment and it was pitch black and the air was blanket thick and B was getting uptight about it. I tried to make him relax and just enjoy it. I lit some candles and opened up all the windows and we laid on the couch together taking in the quietness and watching the lights from the candles dance all over the apartment and each other's faces.

Some people are frightened by blackouts but I've always loved them. They are a reason to do something you don't normally do. They are a reason to be quiet or tell stories or light candles and watch them flicker, get out the Ouija board, slow down, have hot sweaty sex, sit outside and drink wine, play hide and seek, get naked and eat an ice cream cone, or make up songs about the dark on your guitar. I wish we had blackouts more often.

Smoke/Friendship
I smoked a whole pack on Friday night. Had to work a party for my job at this gallery in Lakeview. There wasn't very much to eat, so I started drinking instead. I only really had to two glasses of wine, but it was enough to get me going. After the party, the gallery owner locked the doors and let us all smoke indoors and drink wine with him. He had a grand piano and we sat and laughed and listened as everyone (except me, I ain't no player really) took turns playing for us. I talked a lot my friend K about life and about taking chances and doing things that make you feel happy. I tried to convince him to try out for my band.

B was playing a show with the Functional Blackouts at the Big Horse, so after my last puff, I hopped into a cab and jetted on over there minutes before the show started. Drank two beers, ran into my friend TT and did a show of Jaeger with her, told my friend E she had the cutest voice ever and didn't feel embarrassed by saying it at all. Watched B's band, finished off about 7 smokes during it, jumped up and down and yelled ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-kamikaze along with the crowd and felt good. After B played, he was dripping sweat. Grabbed him anyway and kisskisskissed him and said good job. Had to jet again to a birthday party down the street so said byebyebaby and hopped into another cab over there. Was especially chatty with the cabbie (so unlike me) but had had some beers and was feeling particularly brave. Got to the party, saw friends, danced to the Monkees, sang songs with John H, lost an earring somewhere in the mix, pretended I was a Born-Again Christian while JP took pictures of it (don't I look just like one?). Finished off the pack.

B came over with friends post-show and brought the Sneaky Pinks with him. Sang "ohyeahohyeahohyeahohyeahohyeahoyeahohyeah" to them. Did a shot of seagrams with B. Made up a rap about Sydney and how she donated me a kidney. Listened to Mac (decked out in awesome short shorts) tell a story about the Batman traction holes in his legs. Got honorably (or horribly?) discharged from the party and started a caravan over to my place. Drank a beer on the way. Had R and R roll one of their cigarettes for me because I was out, but it fell apart on me. Woops. Declared to everyone that it was now OK to smoke in my apartment and then tried bumming smokes off of everyone there. Too bad. No one really had any. Shit outta luck for the rest of the night so just kept drinking instead. Finally fell alseep after making out with B for an hour or so, which ended in incoherent mumbling and somesuch kookiness. Sleep sleep sleep.