Broken hearts, bones and homes
Some really good friends of mine had a fire in their apartment yesterday morning and lost everything, even their cat Graffin. Luckily, neither of them were hurt. They've been going through some really hard times recently (actually, I lot of my friends have). My other friend Lady M hit by a car on her bike this weekend. She's a bit banged up, but OK too. Just makes you realize how breakable everything is--our bodies, homes, pets, belongings, relationships, lives. I don't want to get too heavy but it's been on my mind all day. If you could keep all of them in your thoughts or (if you pray) prayers, it would be much appreciated.
When I was 12, the apartment my family lived in had a fire and we lost a lot, mostly to water rather than fire damage from the hoses. We were jolted out of sleep by the sound of neighbors banging at our doors and screaming for us to get out (my brother had a friend spending the night, unfortunate for him). I ignored the screaming for awhile, drifting in and out of sleep, assuming it was the neighbors fighting or some drunk disturbance in the neighborhood). My mom's boyfriend rushed into my room and told me to get out. We ran out the door so fast that I didn't even have time to grab anything or register what was really happening. As soon as I hit the street and looked back at my house, it all hit me at once and I started crying (I never cried in front of my family after the age of 10 or so, so it was very awkward). I cried for about two minutes and then became numb and it felt like I was outside of myself in a way, like a movie was being shot about my life and my family.
My mom held on to my shoulder and tried to calm me but I'm sure she was just as shaken as I was. We spent the rest of the night at the neighbor woman's house. She gave my brother and I snacks and put on Lady and the Tramp to distract us, but it didn't really work. The next morning, we hopped in the car and headed over to my grandmother's house and declared we were moving in. Two of my aunts still lived at home at that point, so there were 8 people and a dog living together on good old Newburg St. My brother and I spent all that Sunday jumping on my grandmother's bed and pretending to be superheroes, hoping, hoping that my mom and her boyfriend wouldn't make us go to school on Monday. They did anyway.
This was at the height of puberty for me and being without my favorite clothes, makeup and hair spray was devastating (sorry, all 12 year olds are assholes). Later on in the week, we went back to the apartment to salvage anything we could. All of the mattresses were soaked and sagging from hose water and everything in the place stunk of stale smoke and soot--a smell I'll never forget, it's inseparable from my memories of this time. The Red Cross told us specifically not to use any makeup we found in the house, as it was contaminated with smoke, but I pocketed a couple of my favorites anyway (kiwi strawberry and butterscotch lip gloss that I couldn't live without).
And we were all fine. Everyone in the building was fine. The Russian family that lived upstairs who were our landlords rebuilt the place and got new tenants and we all moved on, relatively unscathed--except for the constant feeling I have that keeps telling me nothing is permanent and to never get too comfortable. But that feeling will pass. Right, guys??? Right???
Some really good friends of mine had a fire in their apartment yesterday morning and lost everything, even their cat Graffin. Luckily, neither of them were hurt. They've been going through some really hard times recently (actually, I lot of my friends have). My other friend Lady M hit by a car on her bike this weekend. She's a bit banged up, but OK too. Just makes you realize how breakable everything is--our bodies, homes, pets, belongings, relationships, lives. I don't want to get too heavy but it's been on my mind all day. If you could keep all of them in your thoughts or (if you pray) prayers, it would be much appreciated.
When I was 12, the apartment my family lived in had a fire and we lost a lot, mostly to water rather than fire damage from the hoses. We were jolted out of sleep by the sound of neighbors banging at our doors and screaming for us to get out (my brother had a friend spending the night, unfortunate for him). I ignored the screaming for awhile, drifting in and out of sleep, assuming it was the neighbors fighting or some drunk disturbance in the neighborhood). My mom's boyfriend rushed into my room and told me to get out. We ran out the door so fast that I didn't even have time to grab anything or register what was really happening. As soon as I hit the street and looked back at my house, it all hit me at once and I started crying (I never cried in front of my family after the age of 10 or so, so it was very awkward). I cried for about two minutes and then became numb and it felt like I was outside of myself in a way, like a movie was being shot about my life and my family.
My mom held on to my shoulder and tried to calm me but I'm sure she was just as shaken as I was. We spent the rest of the night at the neighbor woman's house. She gave my brother and I snacks and put on Lady and the Tramp to distract us, but it didn't really work. The next morning, we hopped in the car and headed over to my grandmother's house and declared we were moving in. Two of my aunts still lived at home at that point, so there were 8 people and a dog living together on good old Newburg St. My brother and I spent all that Sunday jumping on my grandmother's bed and pretending to be superheroes, hoping, hoping that my mom and her boyfriend wouldn't make us go to school on Monday. They did anyway.
This was at the height of puberty for me and being without my favorite clothes, makeup and hair spray was devastating (sorry, all 12 year olds are assholes). Later on in the week, we went back to the apartment to salvage anything we could. All of the mattresses were soaked and sagging from hose water and everything in the place stunk of stale smoke and soot--a smell I'll never forget, it's inseparable from my memories of this time. The Red Cross told us specifically not to use any makeup we found in the house, as it was contaminated with smoke, but I pocketed a couple of my favorites anyway (kiwi strawberry and butterscotch lip gloss that I couldn't live without).
And we were all fine. Everyone in the building was fine. The Russian family that lived upstairs who were our landlords rebuilt the place and got new tenants and we all moved on, relatively unscathed--except for the constant feeling I have that keeps telling me nothing is permanent and to never get too comfortable. But that feeling will pass. Right, guys??? Right???
posted by xxxbebegunxxx at 12:36 PM
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